The other day I was waiting for the bus. It was running extremely late and I began to wonder where it could be.
Then it hit me.
Why were the people worried about the fashion designer?
They had noticed that a lot of his jeans seemed distressed lately.
What movie did the lady who loved chips go to see?
Paranormal Snack-tivity
I’m working on a movie where a snare drum and it’s player travel to Aspin to return a lost suitcase and get into hilarious mishaps along the way.
I’m calling it, “Drum and Drummer.”
I may not have seen pants walk, but I’ve sure seen a button fly!
I’m currently working on a sequel to a popular 2007 film starring Daniel Day-Lewis and Paul Dano, but I can’t tell you exactly which one.
All I can tell you is that I’m calling it, “There Is Blood.”
What did the river do when it saw a stranger?
It ran.
What did the ocean do when it saw a stranger?
Stood there and waved.
Why did the Dermatologist laugh at the Golden Globes joke?
Because it was topical.
What type of shampoo do snowmen use?
Head and Shoulders™, because they’ve got a lot of flakes.
What soap does John Travolta use when he is getting ready for a big night out on the town?
He uses his Saturday Night Lever
Chester, as a hobby, had started making small figurines out of his old compact discs.
One day, his mother approached him because she was worried about him hanging around with CD characters.
What did the apprentice, who was also Austin Powers, say when the electrician asked if he was ready to learn how to install electrical outlets?
Socket to me, baby.
Recently, politicians have asked hip hop artists to “clean up their acts.”
Many rappers are ignoring the request, but will Smith?
My friend, Roger, recently asked me if I listen to any female pop singers.
I replied, X-Tina Aguilera is alright, but I like Mandy more!
What instructions did the President give the world-renowned classical composer by day, secret agent by night for dealing with the terrorists?
“I want you to take them out, Bach, and shoot them.”
